Mar 27 2009
Archive for March, 2009
Mar 25 2009
Relationships Restored
God is in the business of restoring relationships. I have been so blessed to have many relationships restored most of all the restoration God has done in my own life. I am so thankful for how God has brought restoration to my heart. He can bringing healing to you too!
Everyone that reads this blog also knows about the restoration that God has done with my birthmother Mary. A few days ago we received a comment on the website about meeting my birth mother and it was from Annie Hemmer Ataria. Greg said, “Who’s Annie Hemmer Ataria?” I said “What?” I was shocked. I was excited. I couldn’t believe it. Annie was a foreign exchange student from the Solomon Islands my senior year of high school. We became very close friends. After she
went back to the islands we tried to write but mail just wasn’t predictable, and e-mail was not really an option there then. Well, she had been searching for me on the Internet and finally found me. Praise God! I couldn’t have been more surprised. I thought about her many times over the years and wondered if she were in the states, since this is where her dad is from. Well, she is still in the islands, but nonetheless, God is still restoring this relationship through the Internet. I’m very excited about this relationship being restored. I am excited about what God is going to do.
Annie is a true friend.
We all know people we have lost contact with, and didn’t mean to. People walk in and out of our lives. Some stay for a long time, others it is short. I will hold onto Annie for sure. Have you found anyone lately on the Internet? We would love for you to share your story.
Mar 23 2009
Family Man
My family brings me so much joy.
Yesterday was a tough day though. Jackson was having a hard time. Plagued with disobedience although normally a very obedient child. Things were a little out of whack with Kryssy and I. Jackson is potty training. Kryssy is sick. Things were just not normal.
Last night, I was awakened by a dream. I was dreaming about being with my family on a vacation. We were having a great time exploring together, camping at night under the stars and talking about God. It was a great dream. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I lie awake for over an hour just reflecting on this dream and start asking God about it. About the previous day and all of its going ons etc… Sunday was very frustrating for me in lots of ways.
I began to open a dialogue with God. This comes after not hearing from God for several days. (want to know more about hearing from God and conversational intimacy with God? Search out New Wilderness Adventures’ pod cast on iTunes or go to NWA’s Site!) God began to minister to my heart. He was bringing many words of life. I was hearing things like: “you are a good father and husband,” “you lead well,” “you love well,” “i’m proud of you.” It was really good to hear and great for my heart.
I began to think of the Andrew Peterson song “Family Man!” About what it meant to be a family man, a father, a husband and a family man of God. After God began to change my life dramatically a few years ago and then subsequently becoming a missionary with NWA, I looked at AP’s song a little differently. I had always looked at it through the eyes of a single man. I began thinking about it through my eyes as a family man.
Take a look at this video:
This song recently has really spoke to my heart. It has done my heart so much good and last night as I lie awake in the bed, God added to my identity the true feeling of being a “family man” not just a man with a family! It was awesome and freeing…. I didn’t even know my heart had compartmentalized the two..
See, my family is not my calling, they are my awesome responsibility. It is easy to get the two mixed up some time. Not my responsibility like, it is my responsibility to pay taxes but my joy because God has given them to me as a steward over my family. I love it… I want to Father Jackson well and Husband Kryssy well… it is such a privilege. I thank God for them!
Mar 19 2009
You Know You Are a Parent When
I love being a parent. It is an amazing responsibility. Jackson is an amazing boy and we are excited to have other
children in the future. I was in the NWA office the other day and Jamie sneezed. My first reaction was to grab a tissue and wipe his nose. I started to laugh. It was so dang funny. So, I thought I would ask a question?
That question being: “You know you are a parent when:”
100. Someone sneezes in the room (not your child) and you first reaction is to wipe up the projectile.
99. You blurt out “Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets, were on our way”
98. You know what I’m talking about in #99
97. You’d rather go to the park with your son than go to the pub with the boys
96. You’ve watched more noggin than any other network
95. You lay in bed at night rehashing the funny things they did
94. You undress the baby outside and spray him down with a hose
93. You hear a song like the theme to Blues Clues and you sing along (from Bobbie H)
92. Your reaction to the contents of a diaper is ‘way to go buddy!’ (from Rob L)
91. The words you say to your child are words that only THEY can understand - but to everyone else it makes no sense. (from Rob L)
90. When every activity is put to a song. (from Elise L)
89. When you are in the grocery store and all you hear is “mommy can I get this” and you end up saying no to someone else’s child. (from Sherri S)
88. When you are talking to your friends, WITHOUT YOUR CHILD AROUND, and say things like, “Mommy needs to go potty.” Will I always refer to myself in the 3rd person now?!?! (from Jenny D)
87. When the options are “time out” or “no Wonder Pets”
86. You love snuggle time more than potato chips
85. Your status message on facebook is about your kids more than anything else
84. You are in the grocery store and ask yourself, “would he eat this if it had ketchup on it?”
83. You call all meats “pork” because it’s the only way he will eat it
82. You remind him to say “no thank you” after he says no for no reason
81. You change the channel because of the contents are objectionable
80. Your leisure reading is What to Expect the Toddler Years
79. You always check to see if the “Bot” is with you before you leave on a trip
78. You pray that he will take a nap so you can take a nap
77. You are out of milk and want cereal so you are weighing the options between breast milk and formula
76. There are mountains of laundry
75. When the song stuck in your head is a noggin tune. (from Maureen W)
74. Your days of sleeping in are history. (from Maureen W)
73. You can’t leave the house without a sippy cup of juice and snacks. (from Maureen W)
72. You find yourself in the baby section in each store you enter. (from Maureen W)
71. Your idea of fun is going to the park or play date. (from Maureen W)
70. Parties don’t include alcohol anymore. (from Maureen W)
69. All your shirts have stains on them. (from Maureen W)
68. You trip over toys in the living room. (from Maureen W)
67. The books you are reading aren’t novels, but board books. (from Maureen W)
66. The tub is full of toys. (from Maureen W)
65. It takes forever to get out of the house and you’ll still forget something. (from Maureen W)
64. Your exhausted all the time, but still have energy to dance and play. (from Maureen W)
63. Whenever you hear the lid of the trash can swinging, you get up from whatever you’re doing to “rescue” whatever might have been thrown away. (from Melinda W)
62. You’re not at all surprised to come home and find that every pair of shoes your child owns (and even some of yours) has been lined up to form a train. (from Melinda W)
61. You know you are a parent when most of your dinner consists of leftovers from another person’s plate. (The good news is it’s already been cut up into convenient bite-size pieces!) (from Kara H)
60. You realize you must have eaten because there is nothing left on your plate. (from Sherri S)
59. When looking good in public is redefined as, No snot or spit up visible on the front of your clothing. (from Chris R)
58. You answer to any kid who yells “Mommy” or “Daddy” from the next aisle in Wal-Mart, even though your kids are right there with you. (from Kara H)
57. You begin to wonder if you shouldn’t get a plate of food because you are going to “clean up” what’s left on the kid’s plate
56. When you are up late praying for them to feel better and wishing you were sick rather than them
55. When, even though you are exhausted, you play “chase me da da” one more time
54. You begin shopping for Tar-Heel clothes in 3T
53. You drive 10 miles out of the way so they will not see McDonalds
52. You start to wish you had “light up” shoes too
51. When there are more people in your bed when you wake up than when you went to bed! (from Jill O)
50. You wonder if you will change diapers the rest of your life
49. You begin to diet and eat healthy because you want to be around to see their children
48. When you wake up more tired than you were went you went to sleep
47. You know when you’re a parent (especially of young kids) when you are out without the kids and smile at a loud child and their family because it’s actually not your kids making a scene this time! hahaha. sweet:-) (from Elizabeth G)
46. It hits you that you are responsible for a life
45. When you begin high levels of negotiations over the amount of vegetables one has to eat before dessert
44. You can’t wait until the kids go to bed so you can relax and get some “me time” only to find yourself talking about said kids
43. When you are on the phone and you begin a conversation with, “Well He is ok, but you want believe this…” and the person on the other end responds with “Honey my child was doing that when he was 3.”
42. When you are on the phone and you end the conversation abruptly with … “oh I gotta go… #%$@#^%$^”
41. When you open an account for the college fund
40. You you begin thinking if they make adult sized Wonder Pets clothes
39. When you can look at someone else’s child and automatically know their age within 6 months (from Becca H)
38. When you give your adult friends the “mommy look” and they respond. (from Becca H)
37. When you sit down at the computer one morning to find letters scratched into the screen and then suddenly, stepping barefoot on a thumbtack at 3am when your precious angel has asked for a drink of water makes perfect sense! (true story) (from Becca H)
36. When you have more kids then food (from Pam H)
35. When throw your hat in the air and say “Hot ole Mater!” (Thanks Dad)
34. You are aware of an impending poop due to the way your child looks at you
33. You begin to sacrifice material things that you want so you can give more to your child
32. Your daily reading includes: Bear Snores On, The Small, Small Pond, The Tall Tall Grass, Lion Can Share, and One Frog Sang although the boy is not around
31. You have all of #32 books memorized
30. When you say you wish you had a dollar for every time you’ve said “you wish you had a dollar for something”
29. You continue to watch noggin although the baby has left the room because you HAVE to see how it ends
28. You make silly videos just for fun
27. You think, “Does she have worms? How much milk could she possibly need?” (from Maureen W)
26. You’ve forgotten what sleep was
25. When the boy’s walls are full of trophy boogers
24. When you are so tired that it doesn’t matter what the question is. The answer is “YES.”
23. When you have the “look” and exact that “look” and a sudden hush falls over the brood of children you are around although they are not yours
22. You really enjoy playing WowWow Wubbz games on NickJr.com
21. You play old Duke vs. Carolina games where Carolina wins (as they normally do) at night so the boy will be a Carolina Fan, so you will not have to disown him if he were to go to the Dark Side. (or is that a, “You Know You Are a Carolina Fan When:”)
20. You cut your son’s stuffed animal’s hair to convince him that it is ok to cut his hair
19. You say multiple times “don’t make me come back there!”
18. You regret using threats with your children because now you have to make good on those threats and take the toy away that you enjoy the most
17. You get to play with toys again
16. When you have to wash the same shirt every night or the next day for that child will be a disaster
15. When you have to read the same Bible story (Jesus Loves the Little Children) every night or put him to bed in tears
14. You stay up well into the wee hours of the morning putting toys together for Christmas morning
13. You sleep with your children more thank with your wife (from Mark F)
12. When you feel a tug on you at night and your daughter asks “Daddy, can I sleep with you?” The question being made because she’s thrown up in her bed (from Mark F)
11. When you and your wife talk to each other in the language that only the baby understands
10. When it hits you, “I will never have a dull day left in my life”
9. When you have used a whole tank of gas in a day and have been to the grocery story, tennis, soccer, baseball, practice practice practice
8. When you make up games like,”Steamroller, Chase Me, and It’s the Pointer”
7. You’ve given more “Raspberries” than chewed gum
6. Your house looks like the toy department at Wal-Mart
5. When you don’t know what to say to them and trust God to come through with the words
4. When you wonder where “things” come from. Like the pile of sticks in your son’s room
3. When you’ve given him a bath for the 3rd time in a day
2. When you love sharing stories with other parents about your children
1. You know you are a parent when you make a list about knowing you are a parent.
This list was a lot of fun. Thank you all so much for participating. It’s awesome being parents. So thankful for the opportunity and thankful for my parents.
Do you have more to add? You Know You Are a Parent Whens? or maybe some stories about being a parent. Look forward to hearing from you.
Mar 16 2009
That Can of Copenhagen
I love Baseball. I love playing ball! Still do, although I really do not have a place for it anymore. When I was a teen, I played at the local park/rec league. I have some awesome memories of those times and have made some lifelong friends.
During that time, many of the guys dipped Copenhagen (smokeless tobacco) or chewing tobacco. I always tried to resist doing that but one day I thought I’d give it a try. I think I was 15. I didn’t get addicted or anything but I did it pretty regularly after that and hid it well from my parents.
Nothing is inherently sinful about dipping. Problem is, I knew my folks would not approve. Not to mention the United States of America not approving, not wanting potential users using it until they are 18. I did it for about a year but never felt good about it. I lived guilty all the time when I was that age… and really until I was 25ish due to my construed image of God, not really understanding Grace and mainly because I thought my heart was bad.
Immediately, I wanted to know it was “ok” to dip. I wanted approval. I had the approval of my friends, but I the bigger fish! I wanted my folks to approve. To be able to be on the back porch with my folks with a dip in my mouth.. oh yeah… what a dream right 
So… One day, my mom and I were on the back porch. I had That Can of Copenhagen in my pocket. I pulled it out.. Tap Tap Tap… Those of you that have done it or been around it know what the Tapping is!
I remember it so vividly. My mom slowly turned and looked at me. Her hands went to her hips! “Oh no,” and I got a mighty “hip blow” as we called it. I didn’t get the approval I wanted. I remember her asking me what in the world possessed me to do that. Then she began to cry. What a mess. She and I recovered. Me after 40 months of grounding (j/k) and her after some time and crying. (Sorry Mom)
So tonight I was thinking about this. I always smile, you should have been on that porch. But a question arose: Where am I seeking approval? With whom? Why?
I know that my “affirmation and approval” should come from the Heavenly Father… but.. I don’t always go there.
I’ll get back to you on where! It’s still fresh.
Oh, and by the way… I stopped dipping after that!
Mar 15 2009
Will God Come Through?
It’s not a question that people really like to tackle. It goes to the heart of what you think about God’s heart toward you.
I recently had several emails from family and friends kinda furious at me for saying God would come through in the Tuck report below!
They said “how can you say that with all the devistation around us, the financial crisis” etc… one even went as far as saying, “God must hate us!”
…So what do you think? Will God come through? I’d love to hear about it. What’s your thoughts on either side of the coin? Or how has He come through in your life?
Mar 12 2009
09 Tuckaseegee Fishing Adventure
2009 found us expanding our 3rd annual Tuckaseegee Fishing Adventure.
This year we stayed the weekend and tackled the question of, “Will I come through as a man?” and “Will God come through?” These 8 men came through, not only by moving through the weekend catching over 300 fish (God coming through there too of course), some trout over 2lbs but also by opening their hearts and allowing God to disrupt their lives in a good way. They were very transparent and God came through mightily by answers their questions and letting them know that He would come through even to the point of selling everything and going on the road with the family for a year.
We felt God’s pleasure in this trip, the enemy’s voice rendered mute and the blessings of the Lord as men! Thank you all the supported and prayed for us while on this trip. It really was a model trip.
Enjoy the slide show here:
And a video made with a cell phone while on the river Sunday morning:
Mar 10 2009
Kryssy’s Story Featured in Shelby Star
Kryssy’s story of meeting her birth mother was featured in the Shelby Star. Go to: http://www.shelbystar.com/news/kryssy_37568___article.html/birth_ann.html
Big thanks to Allison Flynn and her work on the story!
Here it is below:
“Thirty years after being given up for adoption, woman and birth mother are reunited”
by Allison Flynn
When Kryssy Sailors was in fourth or fifth grade, she took piano lessons. One song she practiced over and over again was called “Mary Ann.” Kryssy remembers thinking to herself, “I love Mary Ann,” even though she had no idea who Mary Ann was.
Twenty years later, Kryssy of Shelby knows her love of the song was no coincidence. The woman who gave birth to her is named Mary Ann Olsen.
When she was just a baby, Kryssy was adopted by Wayne and Kathy Bakken of Wisconsin. At the time of her adoption, all that was known about Kryssy’s birth parents was that her mother was 15, her father 18 and that they were too young for a child.
The Bakkens never kept the fact that Kryssy was adopted secret and even told her they’d help her find her birth mother if she ever decided to do so.
That decision came in August 2007.
KRYSSY’S STORY
“I kind of always knew I would, but then I saw the movie ‘August Rush,’” Kryssy said.
She contacted the adoption agency in Wisconsin and began the process.
“I got the paperwork back and sat on it for almost a year,” she said. “I had to say why I wanted to meet her and I finally said God kept prompting me.”
Once she sent in the paperwork, it took about six weeks to receive word that her case had been assigned to a case worker.
“I got a phone call a week later saying she’d been found and she was thrilled to get in contact with me,” Kryssy said.
Both Kryssy and Mary Ann had to sign release forms. Once the legalities were taken care of, the agency sent Kryssy her mother’s name, address and phone number.
After building up courage, Kryssy finally decided just to call her mother.
“There was a lot of crying. We talked about my history and I told her I wasn’t mad at her,” she said.
Kryssy was anxious to meet Mary Ann, but both decided to save up and try to meet somewhere halfway.
“My heart missed her. I wanted to be close to her,” she said.
In January, Kryssy and her husband, Greg, traveled to Nashville, Tenn., to meet Mary Ann. Mary Ann came alone and Kryssy and Greg left their 2-year-old son, Jackson, with family.
“I didn’t want to have to be a mother and a daughter or her to be a mother and a grandmother,” Kryssy said.
Although they had never met before, both new each other instantly.
“It was just a strange connection. It made me realize how much of a bond there is between a mother and a child,” Kryssy said.
“Now that we’ve met my heart feels more complete,” she said. “Now it misses my birth dad.”
Kryssy’s talked to her birth father, Rodney Udelhoven, on the phone. She, Greg and Jackson plan to travel to Wisconsin in May to meet her father and other family.
THE BAKKEN’S STORY
Wayne and Kathy Bakken adopted Kryssy when she was around 6 weeks old. They also have an adopted son.
“We were destined to adopt,” Kathy said.
When they adopted Kryssy, they were given a pink dress and a pink and blue shawl Mary Ann had made for her. Kathy kept it for Kryssy.
“I wrote a poem at the time for Mary Ann,” Kathy said.
The Bakkens have always been supportive of helping Kryssy find her mother.
“We knew there would come a day. Kids who are adopted need closure … when she became a parent, we knew she’d ask why,” Kathy said.
The birth of Kryssy’s son, Jackson, did play a part, Kryssy said.
Kathy is grateful of Mary Ann’s decision every day, she said.
“Without her sacrifice we wouldn’t have become parents,” she said. “We were blessed to get Kryssy and we’re more than happy to share her with Mary Ann now.
“I don’t have any question marks. My heart aches for the decision she made.”
MARY ANN’S STORY
When Mary Ann Olsen was 15, she became pregnant with her daughter, Kryssy.
“I was too young to give her the life I wanted her to have,” Mary Ann said.
Although it was the hardest thing she’s ever done, Mary Ann made the decision to give up her baby girl.
“I also was adopted,” Mary Ann said. “I grew up in a very good, loving home. I didn’t want to grow up on welfare with her.”
Mary Ann said she always hoped that someday Kryssy, who she called Tabitha, would find her, but she wanted that choice to ultimately be her daughter’s.
“My friends have asked me what I would do if she showed up on my doorstep and I said I would greet her with open arms,” she said.
When she received the phone call saying Kryssy was looking for her, she was thrilled.
“I’ve carried her baby picture in my wallet for 30 years,” Mary Ann said. “Not a day in my life haven’t I thought about her and prayed for her.
“The love I have for that girl is something I’ve never had for anyone else. You can just see the smile on my face in that picture.”
Meeting in person, although they’d talked numerous times on the phone and had shared pictures with each other, made Mary Ann nervous. Any trepidation she felt, though, dissolved as soon as she embraced her baby.
“The minute I held her any fears I had were subsided,” she said.
Mary Ann is amazed at how much Kryssy looks like her and the two have found they are very similar in many ways.
“She and I have a lot of the same thoughts and beliefs,” Mary Ann said. “She said she’s never wanted to get a tattoo because she doesn’t like pain and would never pay anyone to put her through pain. That’s exactly what I’ve always said.
“There are other just little things … You can tell we are definitely related,” she added.
Mary Ann has always been frank about giving Kryssy up for adoption and even spoke to other teen mothers about her decision. As difficult as the decision was, Mary Ann would do it all over again.
“Seeing Kryssy confirmed I did the right thing,” she said. “Adoption is a beautiful thing… to know there are so many people out there who want to be parents and can’t. I can’t thank the Bakkens enough.”
